This article is not intended to give survival advice or health and safety tips to avoid the spread of Covid-19, or to recover from the virus. There are thousands of those on the internet already (and you should probably only read a couple of them). Instead, I will focus on ways to survive the Covid-19 pandemic emotionally.

Covid-19 is a new, frightening phenomenon because it is new and unknown, because nobody is sure how to respond to it, or what will happen next. Our political and community leaders are doing their best to bring some sense of direction to our actions, and have made a number of policy changes that are likely to help with the logistics. Public health organizations have already distributed best-practice guidelines to reduce and slow the spread of the virus so that hospitals can handle providing medical care to the most vulnerable. As they explain, we are “flattening the curve” of infection, to give hospitals the greatest ability to provide acute care to the medically fragile folks who most need it. One of the main strategies we are using in Canada is social distancing and self-isolation.

As a result, a lot of us will be facing a lot of practical stressors at home. Many of us will be working from home. Our children will also be home from school for several weeks, with few outside group activities open to distract them. Critically ill or disabled family members may be frightened and in additional need of care and support. We may be worried about loss of income from missed work days, and how Covid-19 will affect the economy.

But there is nothing we can do to reassure ourselves against these worries, because we simply don’t have enough information about what will happen until it happens.

So what can we do to calm anxiety when things are out of our control?

Distraction - One of the best methods of coping with uncontrollable circumstances is distraction. If there is nothing you can do to change the outcome of a situation, and all you can do is wait for information, it is always best to find something good to do while you wait. Here are some ideas for you, and for your children.
- Digital entertainment: Many internet service providers are lowering or eliminating bandwidth restrictions, as they realize many people will be spending a lot of time at home. This will be a good excuse to catch up on your Netflix “to watch” list, movies you’ve been meaning to see, video games you’ve been meaning to try out, books you’ve been wanting to read. However, be careful what you choose to focus on as you do this. Over-watching the news, or using video games, TV shows, movies, or books with pandemic, apocalyptic, or disaster themes is not a good idea right now. Consider temporarily loosening any rules you might have about your kids’ “screen time” limits. They will need something to distract themselves, too, and without outdoor activities, team sports, music lessons, clubs, playdates, school, or other organized activities to fall back on, being able to turn to iPad or video games, YouTube videos, movies, or television will help them cope as well. There’s no need to feel guilty about this. Yes, reading books and doing homework may be preferable, but there are limits to kids’ attention spans (and their parents’ patience), and it’s good to be gentle with them, and yourselves, during difficult times. If you can afford it, now might be the time to treat yourself to that new video game console or virtual reality headset you’ve been eyeing, a new collection of books, or a subscription to a video streaming service you haven’t tried yet.
- Good old-fashioned fun and games: Dust off your old board and card games – family or intensely-involved games like cribbage, bridge, chess, Yahtzee, Scrabble, Clue, Trivial Pursuit, Monopoly, Risk, Axis and Allies, Settlers of Catan, or Dungeons and Dragons can be great diversions, and have the added benefit of increasing bonding time with your family. Puzzles, crafts, music, colouring, art projects, or reading stories alone or together (Harry Potter is always good for another read-through) can also be great individual or family activities that can keep everyone distracted and in a good mood.
- Home projects: Been thinking of reorganizing the basement? Renovating a room? Hanging new curtains, painting, redecorating? Spring cleaning? Teaching yourself to knit or crochet? Baking a new recipe? Now is a great time to do it (so long as it’s within your budget). If you’re worried about getting supplies at a store, most of the needed items can also be ordered online. Doing some purposeful things to improve your home environment when you’ll be spending a lot of time there will help to lift everyone’s mood and keep your mind focused and occupied.
Control your Exposure to Information ( when you can) - We are being bombarded with a lot of information about Covid-19. A LOT. My own inbox is cluttered with emails regarding Covid-19, with everyone from the Thames Valley District School Board to political campaigners to retail businesses shooting out updates about their policies, procedures, and what they’re doing to manage the situation. The news is even more overwhelming, and social media…well, if you’ve been anywhere near Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr (etc.) in the last couple days you’ll have an idea of the public mood (panic, irritability, and general confusion). To make things worse, not all of the information from these sources is accurate, and this flood of (mis)information deepens our vulnerability to the “herd mentality” I mentioned in part one of this series.
When we are anxious, we often turn to information sources to reassure ourselves that everything will be okay – however, this pattern of reassurance-seeking tends to WORSEN anxiety when clear or definite answers to our worries aren’t available. With Covid-19, few answers are available yet, so when you search for reassurance, all you will find are more questions, and more anxiety.
To the best of your ability, unplug from these sources. You may not be able to avoid your emails, but you can stay off (or filter) social media, limit group chat and forum participation, turn off certain notifications on your devices (e.g. Apple News), and restrict your time on news sites and stations to give yourself some space from the constant barrage of (mis)information and panic. You can be certain that if any important news emerges, you will hear about it from someone, and quickly.
You can – and should – stay connected to friends, family, and coworkers via email, telephone, video chat, and direct messaging – and these person-to-person communication methods will help you pace yourself with regard to the flow of new information.
Self-Care - In times of high demand and stress, taking care of your basic physical and emotional needs is especially critical. Most importantly, check in with yourself that you are eating enough, getting enough sleep, and staying hydrated. These three vital activities do so much to support us through hard times yet are often the first things we neglect.
It’s also important to support your body and health by taking your medications and supplements regularly. If you like exercise (and are able to), you may also find physical activity helps to burn off some nervous energy – social distancing still allows for outdoor activities, and the weather is getting warmer.
Also - all of the activities from the “Distraction” section double as self-care!
Social Support (amidst “social distancing”) - Reaching out to family, neighbors, and friends and pulling together as a community is critical at times like these. While reducing exposure to people who may be sick is important, so is supporting – and being supported by – family, friends, and neighbors who care about you. Sharing some of that precious toilet paper with a neighbor who couldn’t get to the store, cooperating with other parents in your social circle to coordinate child care, random acts of kindness (e.g., consider paying for the car behind you next time you go through a drive-through, if you’re out and about!), checking in with vulnerable loved-ones, and reaching out to close friends and family over text, telephone, or email for mutual support – these things are the glue that keep us together when times get tough.
One caution, though – if you find a particular social contact is inflaming your anxiety because of their own anxiety about the current situation, check in with yourself about whether you can tolerate frequent contact with this person. If you can’t, you can gently disengage, and/or suggest that person talk to a therapist or another support person to help manage their anxiety.
Reframing - One of the things I’ve found most helpful in shifting my feelings about an unavoidable situation is to reframe the narrative. For example, when the power goes out during a storm, instead of focusing on my frustration that my computer and internet are out, I like to light some candles, curl up with a good book, and use the lack of electricity as an excuse to literally unplug from things.
There can be a sense of romance, adventure, and abandon during a period of disruption, and sometimes it can be useful (and even fun) to use it as an opportunity to let go of some of your usual responsibilities, routines, and even shake yourself out of a rut you’ve been in. This may be difficult for people who are under particular amounts of strain, who are feeling ill, or who can’t step away from necessary care-giving activities, and that’s okay, too – but if you are able to steal some of this time away from your usual routine, consider using it to let your hair down, and take some much-needed time for yourself.