When I work with new moms, one of the hot topics of conversation is routines; naps, feeding, bedtime. While the focus of the routines is usually baby, it is a good reminder that we all need routines, regardless of age.
While you may have routines that are tied to external factors and schedules, such as work, school and daycare drop offs, extracurricular actives, etc., it is critical to create your own routines throughout your day that fill up your coping tank.
One of the best things that I have done for my own emotional well-being in the last year is establishing a morning routine. I wake up early in the morning to spend an hour in quiet; I have my tea, read, journal, plan for the day and set the stage for a successful day.
While the initial days of waking up early were tough, the benefits have been incredibly positive. When I go off my routine, I can feel it. I feel more overwhelmed, that I am more reactive than intentional and just crankier in general.
Just like for babies, routines give us structure in our day, provide a level of predictability, usually make us feel good and allow us to maintain healthy habits. Despite these benefits, we may not consciously create routines and live reactively (and hope that we “find” time to do things that we want to do.)
Some of the most important part of establishing a routine is picking something that:
- You enjoy
- Provides a benefit to you
- Is doable given your current routine and stage of life. I would not have tolerated a morning routine well while having newborns!
Attempts at routine building are often unsuccessful because they are unrealistic. You may have tried to establish a new routine because you feel that you should. While I love my morning routine, I don’t think they are for everyone. It may go against your natural night owl rhythm. Pick a routine that you can envision yourself doing.
When establishing a new routine, ask yourself why your want to start the routine. Is it because you are feeling stressed out? Is it because you have a certain goal and establishing a routine will help you reach it?
Routines are easier to create and maintain when they feel connected to a bigger picture goal. Starting routines because you happened to read about the amazing power of meditation in your Facebook feed is unlikely to stick. Personalize your routines to what you value and what is important in your current life.
Start small with your routine and pair it with something that is already naturally re-enforcing. When I began my morning routine, I knew that I wanted to a) journal and b) stay off my phone first thing in the morning! I decided to pairing journalling while making a tea. As I waited for the water to boil and tea to steep, rather than grabbing my phone, I now grab my journal. It’s a small behaviour change that has made a big impact.
Some possible routines that you may want to try are a bedtime routine to signal to your body that it’s time for bed, a mindful walk over your lunch break, reading a book when you normally read your phone, going to an exercise class the same time every week. The more consistent you are with your routine, the more established and easy it will become!