"I've always been a worrier."
"I'm a bit of a control freak."
"I have a Type A personality."
"People describe me as being uptight."
These are descriptions I hear on a daily basis from my clients. Seriously, if I had a dollar for every time I heard these things, I'd be writing this blog post from a beach front villa in the Caribbean.
You may have accepted the idea that being in a constant state of worry is just part of your personality, something that can't be changed.
But what if it could be changed? What if it's not a part of you are as a person, but the constant hum of anxiety?
Mind.blown.
So how do you know if you're just a worrier or if it's anxiety?
Regardless of how we label it, being worried most of the time is not a great way to be living your life. If you're waking up most morning, already feeling tense and anxious, that is also not a good thing.
If you're finding yourself in a constant state of overwhelm, with to-do lists racing through your head, thinking 10 steps ahead at all times, planning for worst case scenario, juggling everyone's schedule in your head, feeling like you're barely keeping it together but slapping on a smile anyways, that is not good (phew, I'm getting anxious about your anxiety!).
If you have simply accepted that you may get a chance to relax in about 20 years, that is also not good.
It can be challenging to think of NOT worrying all the time. You may be afraid that things won't get done if you stop worrying. You'll miss something and something terrible will happen. It may even be too difficult to wrap your head around the idea of feeling calm occasionally.
However, being constantly revved up is exhausting. It takes a toll on you emotionally and physically. It can lead to that moment, where it finally feels that you've hit the wall and can no longer keep going the way you have been.
So what to do about the constant worrying?
First, identify that this is a problem. Again, being worried all the time is not a personality trait.
Start becoming more curious and compassionate about your worries. Where did these worries come from? How are they impacting your behaviour? Don't label your worries as "stupid" or "ridiculous." They are coming from somewhere.
It can be challenging to do this on your own as sometimes these worries have been around for so long, it's hard to know where the heck they even came from. Therapy can be helpful in identifying the root cause of these patterns and replace them with less distressing ways of viewing issues.
Finally, know that life does not have to feel this stressful and overwhelming all the time.