Valentine’s Day often feels like a very loaded occasion. It is the time to show our partner how much we love them, appreciate them and pick just the perfect gift.
Or it’s a time to feel disappointed, let down and wondering why you’re in this relationship to begin with (or at least the current version of the relationship as it used to be great!).
By the time you’re chucking wilted roses into the garbage can or eating the last chocolate from the heart shaped box, the relationship falls back down on the priority list and you can ignore those feelings until next year.
Or you can really shake things up and suggest that rather than expensive gifts that you don’t need anyway, the best thing you and your partner can do is go to therapy!
I know, that probably sounds a bit extreme. While you’re not super blissed out in your relationship, it doesn’t feel bad enough to go to therapy. You’re not thinking of leaving or having blow out fights everyday. Isn’t couples counselling only for people who are on the brink of separating?
Nope.
It is true that many couples do wait until they are on the verge of splitting (research suggests that couples wait an average of SEVEN years before they seek counselling after they actually need it). Many couples who show up in our office do see relationship counselling as the last ditch effort before calling it quits.
However, that does not mean that couples counselling is only for those in extreme distress. Therapy for couples can actually be much more constructive when you’re coming in more less serious issues and there is not years’ worth of resentment and anger to first dig through.
Couples therapy can be helpful in reconnecting during big transitions (such as becoming parents or when the kids leave the nest). Counselling can be helpful in making big life decision such as making career changes or deciding whether to make a big move and you’re not quite on the same page together.
Couples counselling can even be helpful during times when things are fine on the surface, you still love each other, but you find it hard to talk about things other than the day to day workings of everyday life. You want to connect on a deeper level with your partner but aren’t sure how to have existential conversations as you’re cleaning up after dinner.
So, regardless of where you’re at in your relationship, couples counselling can be a safe place to reconnect, work through underlying issues and be excited to spend Valentine’s Day with the person that you feel connected to, safe with and who truly understands who you are.
Contact us today to set up an appointment. We work with couples at all stages of relationships, with various presenting issues and with members of the LGBTQ community.