A few weeks ago, I hopped over to our Facebook page and asked for suggestions for future blog posts. I was thrilled when I was asked to write about work-life balance. I love this topic so much, but probably not for the reason you think. I love talking about work-life balance and calling it out for what it is;
A LIE.
A MYTH.
A HORRIBLE CREATION TO MAKE YOU FEEL BAD.
Seriously, whoever came up with the concept of work/life balance needs a good talking to about setting unrealistic expectations. The truth is that life is complex. You have multiple obligations, responsibility, desires, interests and they will conflict with each other.
Think of work/life balance as multiple spheres of activities, interests, roles and responsibilities. Depending on stage of life, deadlines and other extraneous factors, these spheres will change in size. New parents will relate to the idea that in those first few months of your baby’s life, the parent sphere is massive, while all of the other spheres are mere specks.
You likely feel out of balance because one sphere is way bigger than the other spheres. Sometimes, that is just the way it is. After the arrival of a child, it is unlikely to equally balance the health sphere, as your sleep is completely dependent on the sleep of your child. However, we can exert some level of control, even when many of the factors are external. So how do you identify and influence your own life spheres?
First, identify your spheres. They may be parenthood, romantic relationships, work, health, friendships, personal development, self-care, etc. Map out how large each sphere is right now. This will likely demonstrate why you feel out of balance.
Now that you’ve identified the size of your spheres, identify some factors as to why they are that size. You may be focusing on a project at work with a looming deadline, which is why the professional sphere is front and centre.
However, there may be choices that you have made, either consciously or unconsciously that have resulted in the sizes of your spheres. Your romantic relationship sphere may be smaller than you like, because you spend most of your evenings bonding with Netflix rather than with your partner. Your health sphere might be a dot because creating time for exercise, sleep and nutrition has not been on your radar in years (other than when setting your New Year’s resolutions!).
While you do need to acknowledge the external factors that impact your spheres, you also need to acknowledge your role in determining their size. Have you neglected parts of your life or overly prioritized things?
Now that you’ve identified what your spheres are and their size, what would you like your spheres to look like? Do you want to add some? Do you want to remove some?
The most important thing when planning out your spheres is a) they do not all have to be the same size (nor should they, as some things should be more of a priority) and b) your spheres will need to be flexible; they will grow and shrink depending on what it is going on in life.
- What do you need to do in order to adjust your current spheres to your ideal spheres?
- Maybe you need to start leaving the office earlier so that you can spend time with your family?
- Maybe you need to block out time to grab coffee with a friend at least once a month to feed your friendship sphere?
Your sphere assessment is not something you do only once. Regularly check in with your spheres and how they are working for you. Make adjustments as both external and internal factors change. This is not a template for the rest of your life, but rather a living, breathing map for your life and what matters to you.
So let’s all agree to toss the goal of striving for more balance; strive to identify what parts of your life need more attention, while stepping away from other parts. Also, give yourself a break when one sphere is essentially PacMan eating all of the other spheres at times. This is just life.
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