By: Nicole Cormier
Going to university can be an exciting, rewarding, and memorable time in life. However, for most students, university also means big changes in your surroundings, your social life, academic expectations, and the amount of stress and responsibility you face. For a lot of students, university can be overwhelming and scary.
You might be in your first year, living alone for the first time in your life, or with roommates who are hard to get along with and have different ideas about chores, living costs, or use of shared spaces. You may be very far from home, and getting used to a new city, new people, or even a new culture and language. You might feel lonely, isolated, and overwhelmed by the sea of strange new faces around you. You might be managing your own finances or paying your own bills for the first time and scrambling to keep track of it all. Or you might have a landlord who is treating you unfairly.
You might be excited to be on your own, away from your parents for the first time, and meeting a lot of great friends - but find yourself pulled into frequent social activities and alcohol or drug use that are hurting your grades. Or you might be finding it difficult to make friends, and not know how to “break the ice” with your classmates or approach new people. You might be missing your old friends from highschool and feeling sad as you begin to drift apart.
You might be dating or looking for romantic partners for the first time but finding it hard to overcome shyness, or to find the right people to date. You might be in a relationship that is feeling uncomfortable or wrong, and not know what to do. You might have even been sexually abused, harassed, or attacked by someone and are feeling frightened and confused.
You might find that, while you are now “freer” to explore your social and sexual identity, you are still fighting with internal and external biases because of your gender, your sexual identity, your appearance, your ethnicity, or a disability.
You might be facing changes in your family relationships as well. You might be feeling homesick and missing your parents and your family. Or you might be ready to be independent, and make your own decisions and choices, but your parents try to “take over” or criticize your ideas, your goals, or your performance. You might feel stressed out by comparisons to your older, successful siblings, or be struggling with leaving behind younger siblings for whom you feel protective or responsible. You might be worried because your parents’ lives are changing now that their children are growing up, or because they have health problems or disabilities.
You might be struggling with your classes, too. You have more homework and reading to do than you’ve ever had in your life. You might be having difficulty organizing your study time, preparing for exams, or understanding your course material. You might be seeing a drop in your grades and not understand why. You might be having difficulty understanding hard new concepts, struggling with writing essays and assignments, or feeling panic when you have to write an exam. You might be terrified of giving presentations or participating in group projects. You might also be struggling with getting assignments done on time and putting things off because you feel anxious and overwhelmed by everything you have to do.
Or maybe you're partway through university and starting to realize that you dislike all of your classes or are questioning why you’re in your program or major. You might have felt pressure to get into a prestigious program like medical school, or law school, or business school, but are worried your grades aren’t high enough to get into those programs. Or maybe your grades are good enough, but you don’t want to be a doctor, or a lawyer, or a businessperson. Maybe you’re in engineering but secretly wish you were in a creative writing major. You’re worried about what others will think if you switch, and what the consequences might be for your future.
Or perhaps you are in your final year. Graduation is looming, and you’re worried because you aren’t sure how you will get a job, or whether you want to go to grad school, or travel, or do additional schooling to get the job you want. Or maybe you still aren’t sure what kind of job you want and are feeling panic and dread about entering the job market without a clear focus. You might be sad about leaving your friends behind, or about an upcoming separation from a romantic partner.
Or you might be in grad school – an experience deserving it’s own blog post!
These pressures can be very serious for many students. You might be feeling depressed and exhausted, and finding it difficult to find the motivation to do your coursework. You might be so panicky that you miss exams, drop out of courses, or have difficulty going to class. You might be considering dropping out, or even be thinking about harming yourself.
If you are experiencing one (or many) of these problems, you aren’t alone!
At London Psychological Services, we have supported many students through their university journeys, through all of these types of problems, and more. It would be our pleasure to help you find success and satisfaction in your journey, too.